The Last Day

Nothing much happened in the past two days. My nagging shoulder tendonitis came back so I started taking the strong anti-inflammatories and the muscle relaxants again. I went shopping and bought some new clothes because I managed to shrink down to the size I was in 3rd year of medical school, thereabouts anyway. I thought a lot about the past year, because someone recently reminded me that all 4th year medical students who are to enter the 2014 match will have their applications open on the 1st of July. I also realized I will soon have my own students to teach and to guide, to help open doors for, and to learn from as well. Students teach residents a fair bit since all they are to do while present on rotation is read and learn. That is, at least, what their only duties should be, aside from gaining useful hospital experience.

I ran some last minute errands and tried to get some last-minute reading done, but something or the other kept coming up and eventually I just gave up. I watched an old episode of one of my favorite sci-fi shows on netflix, ate a few vegetarian corn dogs, and now I'm about to go iron a couple of shirts and see if I can't procrastinate until 10 pm, which is my deadline for sleeping since I have to be up at 5 am tomorrow.

I had a conversation with another physician today who was disappointed that a colleague who was not quite as far long in their career was not taking his advice, even on a matter that would seriously affect their academic advancement. I have seen my advice fall on deaf ears very often and had previously assumed that, having achieved the position I just did, others would now become much more receptive to that which I had to say. I suppose that is not entirely the case, and I guess there will always be those who shall remain unreceptive to my advice. I have been giving a lot less of it lately, and eventually I hope to come to a point where I will only give advice to those who ask. Ideally it should be to the point where I will only give a small amount to those who blindly ask for advice because I am a doctor, and then give more detailed, specific advice to those who persist because they respect what I have done and understand that I have knowledge that may help them succeed. Too many personal improvement projects, I feel like an old man. Maybe that's not always a bad thing.

Today is my last day before I start work as a physician. When I was 5 years old, there was a journal entry that everyone had to do in class (thank goodness half of it was drawing) where we had to draw who we wanted to be and then write on one line "when I grow up, I want to be _____" and everyone else picked lawyer, businessman, cook.... I drew a man with a cape, hat and an eye mask and I said "When I grow up, I want to be Zorro". Around the same time, my parents ordered me a set of books called "Young Scientist" (They're not available that widely for sale anymore, I think Amazon is selling a few copies of them, World Book at least doesn't make them anymore) http://www.librarything.com/series/World+Book+Childcraft+Young+Scientist

So I started reading these books (there was no internet, one English TV channel in the UAE and my parents refused to buy me a gaming console, what choice did I have) and I found that I kept reading one book in particular over and over again. Volume 8, the Human Machine. I know the list on the website says Volume 7 and the Human Body, but if you look closely at the last picture that you're able to zoom in on after clicking it, you'll notice it's really volume 8, and trust me it's the Human Machine. I got sick at some point (something viral, nothing noteworthy) and my parents, being the opportunists that they were and still are, saw this as a chance to tell the doctor I was interested in the human body. So the doctor takes out this black and white sheet of plastic, I have no idea what it is or what I'm looking at, and he says "Can you tell me what this is?" and I shake my head. Then he says "I'll give you a hint. It goes---" and then he made a sound and I immediately said "The heart?!?" I couldn't believe I was looking inside myself. I think I was 7, but maybe 8. Let's say 8. Then he had a clay model of the heart that he opened in front of me in order to show all the different pathways for blood (coincidentally, I'm not sure if drug companies can hand those clay models out for free anymore). Then my eyes went straight from there to his wall. I couldn't see his wall, though. All I could see was Thank You letters written by his patients. Christmas cards, Birthday cards, and above all "Thank You doctor for fixing my cold" "Thank You doctor for help with my foot" "Thank You Doctor....". I zeroed in on this many years later and realized that was why I told everyone I wanted to be a doctor. In fact, I told everyone I wanted to be a heart surgeon. Stupid clay model, steering me away from family medicine.

I start official work as a resident on the first of July, but I receive my badge during my orientation week, which starts tomorrow. For all intents and purposes, the badge is the unofficial confirmatory item for all new residents that they have begun their employment and, though many post theirs on facebook and other social networking sites, I shall spare everyone the brandishing of security documents because I find it a bit much to post something like that online. I know a few people who've been asking for it though, and a few who will send me theirs, so someone or the other will see it. Today is the last day I have before I start work as a physician. I guess 8 year old Jeremy wasn't as dumb as I thought he was. Good thing I listened to him.